


I Love Almost Everything About You.  Almost.

by Vanilla (Shinjaroni)



Category: Free!, Haikyuu!!, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: F/M, Marriage, One Shot Collection, almost a crackfic series but not quite, it's more of just strange comedy in a fluffy setting, once i finish part 2 of the characters already written for..., this booklet is gonna be marked as complete, woohh boy this is going to take a very long time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-15 06:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7211102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinjaroni/pseuds/Vanilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through both sickness and health, you would always love him.</p><p>There were just some days where you wished you could leave him on the side of the road to be someone else's problem.  Only some days though.</p><p>[Various x Reader][Comedy-based booklet revolving around marriage and friendship.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Wondrous Punch Filled with Stress and Love [Kuroko]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You didn't mean to do it; it really was an accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a detour I decided to make. I've been working on a one-shot for Oikawa (from Haikyuu!!) but it's still not done yet. Well, during the process of writing that, I've imagined quite a few comedy-based story ideas. So far, they're all for the cast of KnB. That's when I thought, "Wait. It'd just be easier to make a booklet, wouldn't it?" I also decided to shorten the stories from the one-shot length I often work with.
> 
> No idea how many chapters there will be or when I'll even write/update this story. I've got four separate chapters planned though (and admittedly, half are Kise-related). For all I know, it'll be another mini booklet like my other one!
> 
> Regardless, I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> *Edit: Finally fixed the typo in the chapter title! Haha, sorry about that!

Your feet carried your exhausted body down the long hallway. You'd just completed a test that was far more difficult than it should've been. When you thought of how complicated the questions seemed, you really just wanted to pull your hair out strand-by-strand.

Truth be told, you simply were not in the mood to deal with absolutely anyone.

You really just wanted to cry like a baby. Still, it was just _one_ test. It shouldn't be too big a deal if you didn't do your greatest on it.

 

Regardless, you weren't in the mood to even _look_ at another person. You settled on the decision to ignore the rest of the world as you leaned your forehead against a nearby wall.

_Ahhhh..._

The cold, dead silence was nice.

  
"...cuse me-"

Or it _was_. You jerked your head up and looked around. Was someone talking to you or had you finally cracked?

  
Then you heard it. You really thought you heard _your name_.

  
Instead of reacting the way you should have, you decided to go down a very fast-paced list of all the people you may have made enemies of over the years.

You didn't really know how to speak with others without making a fool of yourself ... so there were at least five people who probably didn't like you.

  
"...Excuse me?"

This time, you were positive you weren't hearing things. You jerked your head in multiple directions like a deer in the woods and no matter how much you searched, you couldn't find the source of the sound.

 

...Until it happened.  
A very cold hand touched your arm.

  
"Excuse me? I think you drop-"

  
You let out an unusual (probably racist-sounding) battle-cry, pivoted on your heel as you whirled around with your fist, and came in contact with something that made a faint "crack" noise.

 

After panting heavily, you soon realized what you had done as you looked down to the floor.

  
You had punched your classmate, Tetsuya Kuroko, square in the nose.

He was lying on his side (in a pool of his own blood; was he unconscious??) and when you began to properly comprehend the situation, he was already standing back up.

Much to your surprise, he only uttered a single phrase:  
"Ah. That hurt."

You panicked and grabbed at his face, watching the water fountain of blood gush from his nose.

Instead of being a normal person, you squawked but a single phrase:  
"I'm sorry for punching you, so please don't sue me for this!"

* * *

"That's when I realized you were the one for me," a short, blue-haired young man calmly stated, glancing down at the white gown embroidered in flowers before meeting your eyes once more. "You look very beautiful in your wedding dress, by the way."

You were staring in shock (you almost didn't catch the compliment he gave you). Of all the things he could have said as his own, personal vows to you, this was what popped out of his mouth.

He gave you a gentle smile and you did your very best to ignore how his groomsman, Aomine, was leaning against a nearby pillar, coughing his lungs out from laughing too hard.

  
"Ah, um, Tetsuya? I'm not sure that's a, uh, normal time to fall in love with someone."

He simply shook his head, disagreeing with your statement.

"You were the only girl in my life to notice my presence so soon. When you were worried about my injury, you looked so lovely to me," he said, obvious affection filling his eyes despite his (seemingly) emotionless stare.

 

You couldn't hide the blush as it was forming.

Aomine was on the floor and clutching his stomach at this point.

  
_This_. This was going to be your new life with the man you chose to marry.


	2. The Only Way to Survive [Kise]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was your husband, sure, but if he was scared enough, you were almost positive he'd use you as a meat shield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laughed out loud while writing this.  
> That's kinda sad, I know.
> 
> \- Something I feel is worth mentioning: If characters are written for more than once, they're the same characters from the previous story (or stories) for that character. For example, if I write another Kuroko story, the backstory will be the same as the first chapter's and it'll carry off on the two's married life. These "character universes" only apply to this booklet though.
> 
> \---
> 
> This was a very fast update because I was really wanting to get this chapter written down before I forgot it. I figured I may as well submit it as chapter two while I was at it. (It was meant to be chapter four but ehhhh this isn't following a timeline anyway, so who cares?)
> 
> I'll try and think of more ideas though! I won't mark this booklet as complete until it either remains on a hiatus for too long or I know for sure I'm out of motivation for it.

You'd just decided you were in the mood to switch into sweatpants after wearing a knee-length skirt all day. After wandering to your bedroom, you picked up the clothes you placed (and left) atop the bed earlier that morning.

Lifting up your favorite pair of sweatpants, you grinned at the thought of wearing something more comfortable ... until you saw what was on them.

  
With your blood running cold, a loud (what was meant to be a) scream escaped your lips as you threw the pants onto the floor. Much like a dog, your husband rushed into the room, calling out your name.

"What's wrong?!" he asked, panic filling his tone.

You ignored him and watched as the menace crawled and made its way to the bathroom connected to your bedroom.

"Ryōta, there's a spider the size of a hand in our house!"

He looked at you as though you were on drugs.

"Oh, come on. We don't live somewhere where spiders can even be that big," he commented, laughing off your fear.

  
"If you think so, then go kill it! I don't want to die at a young age, Ryōta," you said, pointing directly to the spider's new home.

He laughed again, walking to the bathroom and ignoring your worries.

"See, there's nothing to wor-  _OH MY GO_ -" In almost the blink of an eye, Ryōta took his wallet out of his pocket, threw it into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. "Just take whatever you need and get out!"

You face-palmed.

"Ryōta, in absolutely ANY situation you hear about that's like this, the husband goes and kills the spider! Also, it's a spider, not a burglar! Why in the world did you throw your wallet at it? Wait, even if it WAS a burglar, _THAT'S the first thing you would do?!_ "

"I panicked, okay?! I'm not going near that thing! It might lunge at me and lay eggs in my mouth or ears!" He shuddered at the apparent thought. You were at your wit's end. (He also ignored your last question.)

"Can't you just use your copying ability on it?! The one you use in basketball?"

"And do what?! Crawl just like a spider and show my dominance?!"

  
You thrust your arms into the air.  
"Well, you need to do _something_! We can't live like this forever!"

Ryōta sighed, nodding in agreement. He walked over to your shared nightstand and pulled out papers.

He looked directly at you.

"We're going to have to move out," he stated, a stupidly serious expression overrunning his features. You were certain you had been staring at him as though he just said the dumbest thing you'd ever heard. Oh, wait. _He **did** just say the dumbest thing you'd ever heard_. You almost reached up and pulled at his ear like characters would do to one another in old cartoons.

  
"You know what I actually meant, you dummy." He laughed sheepishly at your comment and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

You nearly slammed your head against the wall at what he did next.

  
" _Kurokocchiiiii!!_  Help us!"

* * *

Within five minutes, your savior had entered the bathroom and exited. The only tool he brought with him was an empty shoe box. He approached both you and Ryōta after the job was finished (box in hand).

  
You nodded toward him, pride written across your features.

"Good job. Just another day for the Kuro-copter, huh?" you asked, giving him a thumbs up.

"Please don't call me that." He looked at you, then at Ryōta. "You do realize it was just a tarantula, right? It's quite harmless. Well, unless you're allergic to it." He looked at you, then at Ryōta once more. Even though he had a blank look on his face, you couldn't trust what he'd say or do next. "Did you two want to pet it?" he asked, reaching to remove the lid of the box.

  
You and Ryōta both screamed (and you were fairly certain your husband actually fainted).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a joke that Kise is scared of bugs.
> 
> I can't remember if his "official" information confirms this or not but it's kinda funny to imagine, ain't it?


	3. A Special Dinner's Preparations [Kagami]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was your two-year anniversary.  
> You wanted to cook something special for him (since he always did the cooking) and asked two mutual friends to come help out.
> 
> The results were ... about what you expected them to be, and it made you a bit ashamed to even think they could ever turn out differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy, guyyysss. I wrote another chapter for this!  
> Remember how I said the booklet revolved around marriage AND friendship?  
> This is where that comes into play.
> 
> \- Despite my general "everyone goes by a first-name basis in my stories since it's prob'ly not in Japan" comments, Miss Reader calls Kuroko by "Tetsuya" and Aomine by ... well, "Aomine." Even though you're friends with both of them, Kuroko said he didn't mind if you just called him "Tetsuya" and Aomine never mentioned it for his name. He never really looked like a "Daiki" to you anyway.  
> \- In this scenario, Kuroko and Aomine are obviously not dating anyone at the moment or (obviously) married. Obviously. Otherwise, this wouldn't be funny. I personally thought it became 10x more hilarious to imagine them as single bachelors who can't cook for themselves.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! (This actually wasn't one of the chapters I had planned out; I only thought of it yesterday or so.)

"So... You called us here to help cook something for Kagami?" Aomine asked, stretching his body across your couch as though he owned it.

You sighed, nodding your head.

"As you both know, I can't cook complicated dishes to save a life. Taiga is always cooking something delicious for me and I thought it would be a perfect time to return the favor." Aomine let out a stuck-up scoffing noise and you ignored him, continuing your explanation. "I figured even though all three of us aren't the greatest at cooking on our own, if we came together, we could figure something out." Even as you said it aloud, that idea sounded like the dumbest thought you ever had.

"Wouldn't it just be easier if you just wore an apron and sat on the counter when he got home from work? 'Are you hungry for dinner or dessert? Because I can give you both at once.'" He looked awfully proud of himself at the idea.

"Shut up, Aomine. You watch too much porn," you said, looking him straight in the eye. Your blue-headed friend who stood by the entrance to the kitchen nodded in response to your words.

"Are you really taking her side, Tetsu?"

"Yes. I think it's a nice idea to prepare a special dinner." Tetsuya was smiling somewhat at the thought. He was just given his own, special scoff from Aomine.

"Whatever. I don't really care either way. What were you making anyway?"

You braced yourself and (after practically prying Aomine off the couch) led them to the kitchen.

* * *

"...How do you even pronounce that?"

Of course, there had to be one bad apple in the bunch. That apple happened to be Aomine. The moment you showed him the recipe you found on the Internet (after you brought your personal laptop to the kitchen), all he did was glare at the name.

"It's a French dish. I thought we would start with dessert since it'd probably take the longest to make."

"......So how do you pronounce it?" He wasn't giving up on that, was he?

"It's pronounced kre-... [ _insert you shrugging your shoulders as you made a ridiculous face in attempts to pronounce just_ _one foreign word_ ] It's French, so, you know how it is. It's called ... kreeeehhh-"  You sounded like you were gagging.

"Do you mean Crème Brûlée?" You and Aomine both turned to your quiet friend as he stood beside you two, reading off the name of the recipe with relative ease.

  
"Tetsu, how do you even know that?" All Aomine received was a stare.

"I think I heard it on TV once." You and Aomine both nodded, accepting the answer. There was no way Tetsuya knew how to cook, anyway. That was an impossible wish.

  
And so was getting the three of you to cook this French dish, apparently.

All three of you were gathered at the island counter, staring at all the ingredients as they lay in their own, respective places.

It sure looked intimidating when you were the one cooking. Where did you even start??

"It looks like we need heavy cream," Tetsuya read, looking up at the two of you. "Do you have any heavy cream?" He asked this by looking in your direction. Apparently, having eggs, salt, and butter on the counter wasn't good enough.

"...I don't know, actually. Taiga has a weird system in the kitchen. Would milk work?"

Aomine gave a silent answer by walking to the fridge, grabbing the milk, and dropping it on the counter as if it were a basketball.

You and Tetsuya both flinched at the sound. Thankfully, the gallon didn't burst.

...Moving on?

"Well, it looks like we pour it onto a hot pan. Oh, I should heat one up then, huh?" you asked rhetorically, walking over to the pan cabinet and grabbing the nearest pan you could find. You placed it on the stove and set the temperature to medium-low before walking back to the duo (AKA the duo trying to understand the recipe by staring at it even harder than before).

"Now we need vanilla extract to mix with the heavy cream - or in this case, milk. Would you happen to know if you have any vanilla extract?" This time, you looked up to the ceiling and let out a drawn out "hmmmm" noise to match your thoughts.

"I think Taiga actually used the rest of it the other day to make something," you said, clicking your tongue in disappointment afterward. Then an idea hit you. "Oh! Wouldn't vanilla ice cream work? We just need the vanilla taste, right?!" Aomine shrugged. Tetsuya seemed to be considering the idea.

"The ice cream should be thick enough to make up for the cream. I believe it would work," he finally said, nodding in approval.

You grabbed the vanilla ice cream from the freezer and retrieved the milk, making your way to the stove. After distributing what you thought was enough of each, you let them sit to heat up together. It was simply a large scoop of ice cream in a (probably) sauce pan filled with milk.

"Next, we need eggs." Tetsuya reached for the carton of eggs you'd gotten out with the first ingredients and grabbed one. "Do you want me to boil it? I can boil an egg like a professional chef." Now it was Tetsuya's turn to look proud of himself.

"Ah, no, I don't think we boil it, Tetsuya." Rather than appear disappointed, he simply nodded.

"...It looks like we will need to use almost the whole carton." At his words, you paled. Preparing food was definitely more intimidating than you thought.

  
That's when a signature groan/sigh/almost a scoff filled your ears.

"If you're that worried about screwing up, let me do it. It's just cracking eggs, right?" Your lazy savior, Aomine, stepped in front of you, muttering something along the lines of "move over."

You and Tetsuya stood at the sides of the counter (even though it was an island, you were all on the same side for whatever reason) and watched as Aomine moved the carton of eggs closer to his frame. Retrieving an empty bowl you hadn't used yet, he placed that in front of himself as well.

Letting out a breath of air, a smirk covered his previous expression. Witnessing a blue-like aura surround the man before you, both you and Tetsuya knew what it meant. After watching him on the court for so long, it wasn't hard to understand: Aomine was entering the Zone.

Grabbing five or six eggs from the carton (you didn't count each one), you watched in awe as you waited patiently, as though you were waiting for a show similar to ones performed in those fancy restaraunts where chefs cook before the eyes of the hungry customers.

  
Instead, all you saw was Aomine crushing those five or six eggs with his bare hands.

  
"What was THAT?! You got eggs all over the kitchen floor, Aomine! Oh, geez, they're on your stupid shirt too!" Without a care in the world (and ignoring your angry voice), Aomine tore his shirt off of his body.

You looked over and noticed Aomine pointing at Tetsuya's shirt too, as eggs exploded on him as well.

"Tetsu, there are eggs all over your clothes," Aomine said almost obliviously as if he hadn't been the one to cause the mess. In his mind, an angry chicken probably just ran in the room and shot eggs out of its rear at you three like a machine gun. "Take it off unless you wanna smell like a barn."

Tetsuya simply looked down at his clothes. He seemed to be considering the idea.

"I'm fine; I like eggs."

Aomine shrugged and turned toward you.

"You got eggs on your clothes too. And in your hair." He reached toward your head and you were this close to having to kill the man.

Then things got even _better_.

 

You looked toward the red-head now standing in the kitchen.

"Uhhhh... What are you guys doing? Why's Aomine shirtless in my house?"

You sighed and accepted defeat. Instead of even trying to explain yourself, you just smiled and waved your arms lazily.

"Happy Anniversary, Taiga. You're home early."

He sighed and rolled up his sleaves as he walked toward the three of you, retrieving a mop from the nearby pantry.

"I'd say the same but..." You stared at him, realization suddenly hitting you like a train. "...our anniversary isn't until next week, isn't it?"

 

 

(Later, when Taiga asked about the pan on the stove, you told him what it was supposed to be.  All he said then was "How do you burn milk and ice cream?" and that's when you remembered you left the burner on.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ In case anyone stopped by to check up on it, I have no idea when the sequel story/his POV to my recent Oikawa fic ("The Meaning of the Iris") will be finished. I'll try and get it done before July 1st though. ]
> 
> Also, I'm considering adding Free! or Haikyuu!! chapters to this booklet. Just some other sports-y series that aren't hard to write for, anyway. (And because I enjoy writing for them.) 's just a thought, anyway!


	4. Childhood Crush [Aomine]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weird, impossible AU where the GoM all attended kindergarten together and didn't know it. (Obviously, you're there too.)
> 
> When he sat with you at some table after the wedding ceremony, he didn't think he'd be surrounded by all these people who suddenly needed to know how the two of you even met.
> 
> ...It wasn't like the story was anything special. Because it wasn't. Sometimes, he wished it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been almost two months since the last update for this. I've been pretty busy, honestly. No worries though; I don't plan on marking this story as complete or on hiatus unless I'm away from it for the better part of a year. Probably.
> 
> Anyway, I was thinking of doing a Haikyuu!! chapter but this ended up being easier to write out. (I can't remember if I mentioned it already or not but I basically have a list of ideas for this fic booklet. As of now, they range from Haikyuu!! to KnB.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
> 
> IMPORTANT-Y NOTES:  
> 1\. You all call each other by your surnames in the flashback not because it's in Japan, but because you guys think it sounds "tough."  
> 2\. Also, we gotta erase middle school Aomine from our minds. Imagine him to always be kind of bored and, well, Aomine-like. Why? Because that's what I found to be the funniest for this story, so I wrote him as such.  
> 3\. Personal headcanon that Kise talked like a baby until he got old enough to care about how he looked in front of girls.  
> 4\. Not really proofread for errors at the moment.
> 
> \- - -
> 
> *EDIT*  
> \- Went back and added character names for who "you" are married to at the end of each chapter.

The wedding he had with you was a pretty important day to him (even though he would never be caught dead saying that). When you stepped down the aisle in your white, flowing gown, he was at a loss for words. You were more than beautiful and he didn't once regret the decision to accept your proposal.

Not that he would EVER tell anyone he was the one to be proposed to by his GIRLFRIEND. (That was another story entirely though.) Anyway, even though he didn't regret choosing to marry you, he didn't expect to find himself in this ... predicament. When he sat with you at some table after the wedding ceremony, he didn't think he'd be surrounded by all these people who suddenly needed to know how the two of you even met.

...It wasn't like the story was anything special. Because it wasn't. Sometimes, he wished it was.  Tuning everyone out, he could think back to that day.

That day all those years ago. (He was actually a pretty cool kid though, if he had to say so himself.)

* * *

Daiki Aomine was sitting on his butt during lunch time, ignoring his blonde, bubbly friend who seemed to be going on and on about being super awesome at everything (all he did was copy what others did, so what?). Instead of listening to his friend, he sipped on his box of juice and the look on his face showed he was nothing short of being bored out of his mind.

Just about ten minutes ago, he dunked a basketball into a net. The basketball net was taller than his teacher's height in size. It was pretty freaking awesome. He was five-years-old and he could kill a man if he wanted to.

Even though he knew his skills would always surpass the world's, he didn't feel like doing anything. That being said, he was just so bored.

That was when you bounced in front of him, donning a cute, little yellow uniform for the girls in his class.

You two had never really spoken to one another outside of class. Even so, here you were.

"Hey, Aomine." He raised his eyes toward you almost automatically. For a five-year-old, he remembered how you had an awfully dominating stance. "If I needed help burying a body and offered to pay you, would you help me out?" He lazily stared as he held onto his box of juice. That was when the blonde boy, Ryōta Kise, tried getting your attention. You didn't say anything to him.

...You definitely ignored Kise.

Oh, well.

"Ehhhh?! Buwy a bawdy??? What is she tawking abowt, Owminecchi??" Scratch the previous comment. You and Aomine were BOTH ignoring him.

"How much are we talking here?" Aomine responded bluntly, sounding awfully tough for a little kid. The blonde child beside him just shrieked and burst into tears.

"Owminecchi is gonna go to jailll!" Kise kept sobbing, his tears combining with his snot. Instead of trying to make him feel better, Aomine could remember how he smacked his friend across the back of the head. Repeatedly.

"If you're a man,  _stop crying_!" he yelled, still smacking the blonde on the back of the head. It just made the crying worse.

You blinked, staring at the two of them. One of the teachers for the class approached the three of you in a hurry, trying to stop Kise from crying any louder.

"What's going on here?!" the teacher cried out. Amidst the sobs, you all three gave different answers.

"Owminecchi is gonna to go to pwison!!"

"Kise won't stop being a wuss."

"I think Kise is worried Aomine's gonna drop the soap."

All three of them turned your way. The teacher's eyes seemed to bug out to the size of dinner plates.

"What's that even mean?" Aomine asked you. You just shrugged your shoulders.

"I dunno. I heard my dad say it once."

Aomine nodded your way, giving his approval.

" _Nice_."

* * *

.........When he thought back to it, that probably wasn't the best introduction. As he blinked, he realized everyone was staring at him.

"So? How'd you two meet, Daiki?" Oh.

"...Oh, yeah," he said, acting as though he'd only just remembered. "I met her at a strip club."

 

(After you two found yourselves alone long enough, you kicked him in the crotch and left him for dead.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of my homework for the online section of my classes, I decided to do this (I'm taking, like, 4 classes plus the lab for biology; two of the classes are online)!
> 
> Months back when Ozmafia!! was released for pre-order, I bought it. I'm only now really getting into playing it so I'm gonna be spending my time doing that among other things (school work, personal work, other work, etc.)??
> 
> Ah, um, that means the update schedule for this is gonna remain pretty sporadic. I've got a million fic ideas to work on outside of this booklet too but. *sobs* there's jus no teim.
> 
> \- - - - -
> 
> (Update 08/24)  
> Just for fun, I also wanted to go into detail on the "character universe" thing I mentioned back in Kise's chapter.  
> As examples,  
> * For Kuroko's chapters, you'll always have met him by punching him in the face on accident. The reader is probably more negative/passive than in the other characters' stories. You don't really know the GoM very well here.  
> * For Kise's chapters, Kise is pretty cowardly for the lulz. And he's kinda stupid. You guys bother Kuroko a lot.  
> * For Kagami's chapters, you're practically best friends with Aomine and Kuroko (or Aomine and "Tetsuya"). You mean well but you can't cook to save a life.
> 
> So that's that! Hopefully you'll catch on to the character universes over time (if I can keep this going for a while)? Truth be told though, if I even write for each character more than once, they'll probably just get two chapters in total. That being said, it's why I went back and labeled the chapter names with the character the reader's married to (they're in brackets)! If you can't see the name because of chapter length, either open up the chapter or just open the full index!
> 
> (No, if I write for multiple series, there won't be any cross-overs. srry gaiz)


	5. Love at First Sigh [Iwaizumi]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you were in college, you met Iwaizumi and Oikawa. You'd fallen for Iwaizumi at first sight.  
> What would even happen next?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love at First Sigh," not "Sight." Because it's Iwaizumi.
> 
> Did you miss me????  
> I've got a Kuroo story cooking and I hope to get it done before I go back to college in January.  
> For now, here's another chapter of everyone's favorite booklet by me, now using Haikyuu!! heheh
> 
> (For those who are just jumping to this chapter because you don't watch KnB, please go back to the Kise and Aomine chapters [c. 2 and 4 specifically] and read the author comments in the chapters! It'll help you understand this booklet more.)
> 
> \----
> 
> Name-calling:  
> Oikawa calls Iwaizumi "Iwa-chan" still (among other things and "pet names").  
> Iwaizumi calls Oikawa by just that ("Oikawa").  
> You call them by their given names, as it's not Japan in this weird AU setting. You can just pretend Oikawa is a weeb who uses Japanese honorifics and no matter what anyone says, that just makes sense to me.
> 
> You could pretend they're exchange students from Japan, but why? Make Oikawa look dumber and it's 10000x more funny. 
> 
> ...I write about Oikawa too much. He's my favorite.  
> Trust me, this is about Iwaizumi though.
> 
> * Comedy-based headcanon idea of Oikawa acting the way he does around Iwaizumi ... with pretty much everyone. His looks still make him popular though.

"I need you more than anything!" were the first words you said to Oikawa when you stopped him in the hall. Girls gasped, guys more-or-less didn't care, and Iwaizumi walked ahead because he thought you were just another nutjob fangirl.

  
"Ehhhh?" Oikawa responded, delicately(?) placing a finger against his own chin. He looked you up and down, obviously checking you out.

"Please!" you begged, tilting your head upward. Your face was red and the crack of your breasts were showing due to your shirt hanging down from bowing.

"Hmm... Those will do," Oikawa muttered. You shot your head up.

"Excuse me?" Oikawa blinked in surprise at your words, shaking his hand in front of his face like he wasn't being a pervert.

"Oh, don't worry about me! You said you..." he started as he gulped, licking his lips like a hungry lizard. "... _needed_ me?"

  
With a strong nod, you stood upright.

"Yes! I need you to do me a favor, Tooru!" He tilted his head at your statement.

"And what would that be?" He questioned, a bit confused. You were asking him out, right?

"Please pretend to be my boyfriend!"

* * *

Oikawa was nice. He was gorgeous, and he was perfect.

Of course he couldn't turn you down. Still, he was surprised at what your reasoning was.

"I'm in love with Hajime Iwaizumi," you had said, staring at your feet. "I know it's wrong to ask the best friend for help but I just didn't know how to approach him without him thinking I was a freak..."

Anyway, he'd agreed to help you and that's how you got to this point. The very next day.

"I'll introduce you as my girlfriend. If that doesn't get him jealous, I don't know what will," Oikawa had said, pulling you along as he approached Iwaizumi outside. You nodded in agreement, your heartbeat racing in your ears.

"I'll do my best," you muttered to Oikawa. He smiled. You were strangely adorable and you would be perfect for his bestie.

"Iwaaaa-channnnnn~!!!" Oikawa ~~screeched~~ called out, waving toward Iwaizumi. You could've sworn for a second that Iwaizumi glanced around to make sure no one else was there before he looked at Oikawa. "I want you to meet someone important to me!"

"Okay," Iwaizumi said, and you almost melted at his voice.

Tugging you forward, Oikawa nudged you a bit and you gave your name, shaking hands with Iwaizumi. Your heart nearly exploded then and there.

"I-It's nice to meet you, Hajime," you sputtered out, almost swearing to never wash your hand again.

"Same."

You could have lived in this moment of peace forever.

Except you couldn't.

  
Insert Oikawa butting in and ruining the moment. He wrapped his arms around your body like an octopus and pulled you close.

"No, you can't have her, Iwa-chan! She's my girlfriend and I love her!" Your eyes widened and Iwaizumi just stared at his friend like he was crazy.

"...Isn't she the girl who pulled you aside yesterday?" Iwaizumi asked.

The only answer he got was Oikawa caressing your hand with his own.

"We have something special and you wouldn't understand, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said, practically dragging out each syllable.

"Riiiighhhht," Iwaizumi said, probably pretending his friend wasn't insane.

* * *

"That didn't work, Tooru!" you cried out, frantically walking around the empty room where you and Oikawa stood.

"Hmmm... I have another idea though!" he said, pounding his right fist into his open left palm. You turned toward him.

"What would that be?"

"Well, this is Iwa-chan we're talking about; Hajime Iwaizumi! He actually loves really flashy things, believe it or not!" You were skeptical at his words.

"...Isn't that you, not him?"

"Just trust me on this! Why else would he hang out with someone as popular as me?"

 

You didn't want to disagree with him.

...You really didn't.

............

................... _But part of you really wanted to_.

Because you were standing outside of the gym right after volleyball practice for the men's team and you felt like a fool.

Ahhhh, what was the plan again?

_"If this doesn't work, we'll break up right in front of Iwa-chan! Then you can cry on his shoulder and he can comfort you and realize you were both made for each other!"_

...Right.

Throwing all worries aside, you threw open the door to the gym, squeezing yourself through the entryway.

All eyes turned on you and the sound of a volleyball hitting the floor echoed in your ears.

  
You were wearing a grand peacock costume, the indigo feathers beautifully jutting out around your frame and colorful feathers popping from your back. You approached Iwaizumi and his eyes only grew wider with each step you took (out of the corner of your eye, you saw Oikawa give a thumbs up).

Imitating the steps Oikawa taught you perfectly, you walked like a bird, swaying your hips around the young man.

"D-D-D-D-Do you love me y-yet?!" you cried out, feeling your IQ drop a few points by each passing second.

He blinked.

"Wait, aren't you wearing a **male ** peacock costume?"

You dropped on the floor and Oikawa ran up to you with a sports drink bottle in hand.

  
"I can't do this!" he cried, dropping to his knees like he just heard really traumatic news. He looked up at you and you could tell he was trying to sound distraught. Trying. "I can't date you if you're going to try and mate with other guys!" He sprayed some of the drink over his eyes in an almost discreet manner and slammed a fist on the floor (muttering a quiet "ow").

Was he ... trying to make it look like he was _crying_? His eyes were red all right, but for a totally different reason.

"Oh, uh, okay. I'm sorry, Tooru," you said, jumping up and leaving the room. You stopped in the hall outside the gym and could still hear Oikawa's voice echo. He ... was really loud. And overly dramatic.

"Oh, no! I loved her so much! If only I was blunt and rude enough to win her back!" You glanced in the room and saw Oikawa on his knees with his arms in the air, totally ignoring everyone else. "I wish I was a kind of a douche!"

Iwaizumi sighed.  "Oikawa, you two  _just_ started dating the day before yesterday."

* * *

"......................................"  You looked at your hands on the table and refused to look up. The wedding band on your left ring finger was the only thing you could see.

".......Is that why Oikawa sent me after you?"

You finally lifted your head and nodded.

"It's why I 'dated' Tooru in the first place," you quietly responded.

Iwaizumi sighed and leaned back in his seat at your kitchen table.

"That makes sense, I guess; even if it is Oikawa."

"You're not mad?" you asked. He shook his head.

"Nah, he meant well. I think." You nodded in agreement with his words.

"I'm thankful for what he did. Even if his methods were ... unorthodox," you said, smiling.

Iwaizumi smiled too, eyes glancing over at the wedding picture of you, him, and Oikawa jumping in the background with happy tears in his eyes.

"Yeah," he said, pausing for a moment right after.  Then it suddenly hit him. " _Wait_. Was he calling me a douche?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more Oikawa in this than Iwaizumi though.
> 
> I'm gonna be real with you guys and admit that I laughed when writing this one too. I even laughed with the summary I'd written beforehand on what would be in this short story.
> 
> ...I'm sad. I already know that.


	6. Cream Cakes, Macarons, and Marriage [Kageyama]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama met you when he was in his last year of high school and you were in college. It was just a passing moment and he really didn't know much (or rather, anything) about you. Still, you left an impression on him and he learned about how you loved frequenting this cutesy, flowery, and happy cafe where cakes were the main item on the menu and even the guys had to wear ridiculously-frilly uniforms. 
> 
> Of course, to make things worse, he was bad at talking; he didn't even know how to smile properly. All he could do was make everything more and more awkward as he miraculously took a job in this putrid environment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wanted to write something for Kageyama and I'm glad I'm doing that now. Despite not having much time or inspiration to write stories like this recently (I'm an illustrator dealing with college. what's free time??), he was the next character I'd planned on writing about in this booklet. I also tried to make the narration sound somewhat blunt and brash like how Kageyama talks. Despite it being in second/third-person.
> 
> When it comes to writing for this booklet, I list a couple characters I want to write about and think of something fluffy I could use (because of that, a lot of characters get scrapped until later if they're written for at all). If it isn't that, I may start from a scene that I think would be funny and base the chapter around that. The scene of Aomine getting "in the zone" from Kagami's chapter was actually what *started* that chapter.
> 
> I'd like to do a more friendship-based chapter soon; something like Kagami's chapter, you know? Then again, I guess the Iwaizumi chapter was somewhat like that.
> 
> \----
> 
> Name-calling:  
> why do you read my stories if you don't expect people to refer to one another on first-name basis 99% of the time (you know, aside from most sports teammates)

With a small bump of the shoulders and a smile given to him while being paired with an apology, Kageyama was beyond flustered. He couldn't understand how you - this, ah, older lady (were you in your 20s? 30s? he was bad with ages but you looked fairly young regardless.) he accidentally bumped into could impact his life the way you did.

That was a bit corny (or at least according to Kageyama), so here was another way to look at it:  
He was at about that age, so Kageyama had to prepare for deciding what college he would enroll in once he finished high school. Insert a bus ride into a foreign town and an accidental bump of the shoulders when jumping on the bus on his way back home and Kageyama almost painted the bus floor with the lunch he had hours before.

During the moment you apologized to him, he didn't really know what was going on with his emotions. His hands were shaking, his throat squeezing itself shut, and he felt like throwing up when he finally managed to try speaking.

In his mind, those reactions easily could have been just because he was talking to a girl.

  
"No, don't worry about it," Kageyama said cooly.

 

Well, that's what he tried to tell you.

 

"I, _uh_ \- My shoulder isn't broken. _Yeah_." That was what he actually fumbled out while his heart hammered in his chest.

 

The key word was that he was TRYING to tell you he didn't need an apology. Of course, Kageyama was the prime candidate for the "Great with Talking to Others" award. It's why he got along so well with his middle school classmates and volleyball teammates. (That was all a joke, of course.)

  
Anyway, to slam this love story closed shut, you'd walked away and hopped off the bus before you could hear him choke on his tongue and hear his heart drop. The end.

That's how Tobio Kageyama died alone in his front yard without even cats to keep him company in his old, old age.

The last thing he saw just before kicking the bucket was Kei Tsukishima (this rude titan on his high school volleyball team) pass by his house, chuckling at how alone Kageyama had been in his dying days (even though Tsukishima himself died on the spot from rupturing some organ because he was laughing too hard at Kageyama's misery).

  
...Just kidding.

 

At this rate though, Kageyama could definitely see that happening while he wallowed in self-pity. He couldn't talk to anyone - let alone someone who caught his eye like you did - without hurting himself.

He'd be lying if he didn't have the desire to fall into a hole as he tried to go to bed that night. That wasn't the point of the story though; the point was how Kageyama became so interested in you. At first sight.

Truth be told, as he tossed around in bed, he paused for a moment. When he thought back to your face as you apologized to him, everything seemed to slow down. The first thought to cross his mind was something short and simple:

" _She was kind of pretty_."

His heart hammered in his chest once more, and he honestly thought that was what having a heart attack was like.

  
Fast-forward a few days later and up to the point where Kageyama was waiting at the bus stop to go back home from that same town as before. Did he need to go back to the college there? Conveniently, yes. He had other reasons for wanting to be in this town though. But--

Things weren't always that convenient.

Unfortunately, he had to take Tsukishima, the aforementioned titan, with him to see the campus through a tour. The tour was painful, as Tsukishima spent most of the time either listening to music while tuning out the tour guide or making everything awkwardly uncomfortable by making fun of Kageyama in some fashion. That was usually done by calling him a "king" for the slightest thing he did.

And that wasn't even the worst part.

The worst part would be the bus ride back home, the time Kageyama was looking forward to the most. The only problem was the giant, headphones-wearing, blonde anchor he had tied to his ankles.

Still, it wasn't all that bad. The moment Kageyama sat down on the bus beside a window (with Tsukishima purposefully plopping next to him just to kill his mood), you'd actually stepped on as well. His heart hammered in his chest as he eyeballed every move you made. Once you actually sat in the seat behind him, he gulped out of nervousness.

  
Unfortunately, he forgot about the blonde anchor beside him. The one that was staring at Kageyama with a look of obvious disgust on his face.

"Are you actually blushing? _Gross_ ," Tsukishima mockingly said. Well, if the titan-sized parasite spoke in any other tone, it would probably be out of character for him. And that, in of itself, would be kind of "gross."

  
While trying to ignore Tsukishima's remarks and comments, Kageyama decided to stare at the window beside him, glancing toward your own reflection on occasion. Yeah, he decided. You were definitely kind of pretty to him.

He could hear your voice echo behind him; apparently, you were with a friend and were now conversing about something or another.

"Since classes just finished, should we stop by that cafe you were telling me about the other day? Uhh, what was it called again?" This voice wasn't yours but it also had a feminine quality to it.

"I was hoping you'd want to! I get too nervous to eat there when I'm on my own," you'd responded, and paused momentarily. "It's called 'Cafe Dreamland' because they're supposed to 'make your dreams come true'."

You changed your voice to a goofy tone with the way you said both "Cafe Dreamland" and "make your dreams come true" and Kageyama did everything in his abilities to keep himself from grinning (or, well, giving a "Kageyama grin"), especially when you giggled after describing the place.

"Oh, wow, really?" Tsukishima said (in monotone while somehow imitating an excited way of speaking) to himself.

Kageyama almost fell out of his seat. If he had a volleyball on him, he would have already thrown it at Tsukishima for that comment.

Not that he could take a titan down without attacking it on the back of its neck.

  
"The uniforms for the employees that work there are pretty cute too!" you said cheerfully.

Tsukishima was playing on his phone (probably while eavesdropping), snickering to himself. Kageyama ignored him.

  
"I think you'll really like it th- Oh, there it is! It's right by the bus stop. You see the building with the red-ish roof? That's it," you'd said, gesturing to your friend apparently. The bus stopped and you and your friend exited quickly. Kageyama watched as you walked further and further away from the bus to this aforementioned cafe.

  
"Hey," Tsukishima said (rudely, as usual). He almost sounded like he was trying not to laugh. When Kageyama turned toward him, Tsukishima held his phone up, the words, "NOW HIRING" written in cute, colorful letters on the screen. "Maybe you could get a job at that cafe and stalk her? You're already halfway there since you stared at her reflection during the whole ride here." Then Tsukishima laughed, a smug look on his face. "Not that a king like yourself could work at a 'commoner' cafe."

  
Almost out of spite and to just prove a point, Kageyama aimed to prove Tsukishima wrong.

 

And that's how he got a job at this cafe full of cakes, frilly uniforms, and stuffed teddybears in every corner.

  
"Now... Tobio, was it? Smile for your employee photo!" the manager called out.

Kageyama forced the corners of his mouth to lift; it was an innocent gesture. Still, after he saw the photo, even he could agree with everyone else.

  
"...That smile is nothing short of terrifying."

  
Still, he got the job. He was proud of himself. What he wasn't proud of, however, was when he started his first day at the cafe. And the weird, frilly uniform he was wearing.

He just-so-happened to be standing near the entrance while Tsukishima "just-so-happened" to be standing in the doorway with this obnoxious, "I can't believe you actually took a job here" grin on his face.

And when Tsukishima held his phone up and an obvious, loud camera sound effect echoed in the building, Kageyama's blood ran cold.

"Pfft," Tsukishima wriggled out while holding back laughter. "This was worth the long trip out here."

Kageyama wanted to kill him.

  
And even though he applied for this job out of spite toward Tsukishima, that was when he realized he fell right into the titan-anchor's trap.

 

Still, life wasn't that terrible for the boy.

On more than one occasion following that day, you actually showed up in the cafe, usually dragging the same friend with you in tow.

And when you said "Hello!" to Kageyama (though it was only as you entered the cafe), he wouldn't have cared if the floor opened a hole up beneath him; he was that ecstatic.

 

He didn't mind that he kept almost getting fired for not knowing how to smile at the customers in the beginning.

Actually, the manager eventually told him that even if he couldn't smile, the cafe would keep him because he gave a "mysterious" feeling to the restaraunt.

Even though he didn't really get what that meant, Kageyama didn't mind. He was able to see you wander into the cafe on a semi-frequent basis - especially on weekends - and it made his day more often than not.

 

Fast forward a few weeks later after finally getting used to welcoming customers with the phrase, "Welcome to the most desired parts of your dreams!" and Kageyama knew life was going to be harsh on him.

"We decided to change up the theme of the cafe a little bit because spring is coming up. With that being said, here, put this on," Kageyama's manager insisted.

A pitiful, regretful "but why" was all Kageyama could muster as he hesitantly slipped on the blue rabbit costume in the employee's locker room.

  
After changing clothes, he exited the locker room and immediately realized a problem with the rabbit costume (aside from the most obvious issue): every step he made emitted an ungodly, cute "squeak" noise.

  
He wanted to cry. His face was shown to the world from the inside of a rabbit's mouth and he just couldn't see the appeal in that.

Until he heard the most amazing sound in the world.

...You giggled. Somehow, he knew it was your laugh. He immediately turned his eyes in your direction and felt his face flush.

You were laughing at him. You were laughing at him but he didn't mind at all. Why, oh, whyyyyy didn't he mind?

"It's probably hot under there but I really like that costume," you'd let out after your laughter subsided, biting into the macaron in your hand.

And this was it.

This was how Kageyama could regain his self-esteem from that accident on the bus when he first bumped into you. All he had to do was thank you while showing you that he can look masculine in a big, blue rabbit costume.

 

 

 

  
"...You're so cute." Unfortunately, his mouth didn't seem to listen to his brain.

And there was silence.

You went quiet, Kageyama went quiet, and the only thing Kageyama could do was freeze on the spot as he imagined Tsukishima keeling over in laughter at the awkwardness filling the room instantly.

  
But then you smiled.

"Um... Thank you," you practically whispered while looking away.

And then he screwed things up again.

  
" _...W-Will you marry me?_ " His mouth really did have a mind of its own.

Of course, you rejected his proposal.

 

 

  
And then you accepted it two years later.

 

 

  
(Kageyama almost made Tsukishima his best man at the wedding because he was the reason Kageyama was able to talk to you. Well, until he saw the look of disdain on Tsukishima's face. That, and the "ew, no" that spilled from Tsukishima's mouth not even seconds after asking.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the next chapter (or at least eventually), I'm considering bringing Free! into the mix. I was never a -huge- fan of the series but I always liked the characters. I also adore Makoto despite not being too invested in the series.
> 
> Oh, and I use my profile description here on Ao3 to keep updates about what I'm up to in the world of writing things, so feel free to check that out every once in a while. I can't guarantee that I won't go another seven months without updating this booklet but I'd like to get more things written soon.


	7. The Good, Ol' Ball and Chain [Aomine P2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the support of all his friends, Aomine decided he was going to pop the question.
> 
> He just needed to find the right timing. And probably better friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here come the big guns.
> 
> Remember that this is connected to Aomine's other story. If you remember the content of the previous chapter, you should know how this ends. This is pretty much a prequel! (don't forget that I made the GoM go to school together as runts ~~because I can't write~~ ) 
> 
> I managed to come up with a second part to Aomine's story and knew I had to get it written before I possibly lost motivation for it. :') Haha, don't expect updates to be this fast regularly! I'll probably write something for Makoto next... but first and foremost, I need to write up ideas for Free! stories. :') (So forgive me if I say I'll write for Free! 30 times before actually doing so. I generally forget what I write in these chapter notes because I'm away for months on end.)

"Hey, uh... I'm thinking of..." Aomine started as he slid a small box on the table in front of Kise. "Uh... Yeah." Maybe he'd get the hint so he wouldn't have to say it?

Kise's eyes simply stared at the box. The two were sitting in a booth at a fastfood restaurant they frequented. This said fastfood joint was by the local basketball courts near their college. Aomine decided to share the big news with Kise and... Well...

"What's that for, Aominecchi?" Kise grabbed it, twisting and turning it in between his fingers as though investigation had actually been remotely necessary. "It's kinda cute. Is something in it?"

Talking to a dog would've given Aomine a better response. If he were to be frank about it.

Aomine almost let out a sigh. He also almost wanted to kick Kise from under the table for being so airheaded sometimes.

"Kise, it's an engagement ring. _Geez_ ," Aomine finally said, his embarrassment almost overwhelming him. He ran a hand through his hair and practically strangled the poor, plastic cup in his other hand.

He wasn't good at this. How could anyone even be comfortable with this kind of situation?

It didn't matter if Kise was one of his closest friends; this topic was unbearably uncomfortable to bring up in general.

  
Leaning back, he waited for Kise to say something. And he waited some more. Kise was awfully quiet in spite of having a motor for a mouth.

He glanced over and saw Kise on the verge of tears.

"Hang on, what's wrong _now_?!" Aomine let out. What was wrong with Kise _this time_?

  
"A-Aominecchi..." _Sniff, sniff_.

"Uh... Yeah?" _Gulp_. Why does Kise have to cry so much at the worst times?

"I... I..." _More sniffling_.

 _Sigh_. _Run hands through hair again_.

  
"Kise. _What is it_?"

Kise wiped his eyes and kind of made his face ugly with all the tears and bubbling snot.

"Aominecchi..." Kise began and Aomine waited. "I didn't know you thought of me that way..."

"Wha-?!" Kise sniffled and Aomine almost jumped from his seat.

"I thought you were giving me the eye lately and I... I don't know, I just never thought of you that way... I always thought if I were to give guys a chance, it'd be with Kur-"

"Too much information, Kise! I'm not proposing to you, come on!" Veins were popping up here and there and Aomine's temper was about to go on a rampage.

don't punch kise don't punch kise don't punch kise _don't punch_

  
"Oh? Then what's it for, Aominecchi?" He instantly stopped crying. Wow. Kise was just so irritatingly emotional sometimes. His emotions were like a light switch that had juice spilt on it.

"I... I want to ask HER..." He avoided using your name. Somehow, his masculinity felt like it'd be on the line if he said anything else.

Kise nodded, smile on his face.

"That's great! When were you gonna do it? And where?"

Aomine sighed, rubbing his eyes with his index finger and thumb attempting to grind any built-up irritation out of place.

"I wasn't too sure. She likes the way the ocean looks, so maybe there? I don't even know if she wants other people around or not when I finally pop the question."

Kise leaned back, lost in thought. Then he shot forward in his seat, smacking his hands on the poor table in front of him (which seemed to startle some other people around them).

"Let's ask some of our buddies!" Kise pulled his phone out of his pocket and began making phone calls before Aomine could get a word in, edge-wise.

  
Fast-forward half an hour later and Kagami was the only one who showed up. Wow, Aomine's friends kinda sucked, didn't they?

"Sorry, Aominecchi, he was the only one not busy!" Kise cried out.

"Uh, no... It's fine, Kise. Just... don't cry again," Aomine said without even bothering to cover his exhaustion.

Kagami was sitting with them at the booth. He didn't want to sit by Aomine (or by Kise, really) so he'd pulled up a chair at the end of the table. The chair was backwards so the back was hitting the tabletop and honestly, Kagami looked pretty lame trying to pull that off (though Aomine wouldn't begin to mention how he would probably sit in the exact same position if he weren't already in the booth). Oh, and don't forget about the ten burgers sitting in front of him.

"So, what'd you call me for? Kise said you had some big news?" Kagami started immediately after unwrapping his first burger. "And ten of these couldn't feed a starving family. Is that all you could get?"

Aomine scoffed.

"If you want more, buy them yourself," Aomine said, irritation growing all over again. Kagami shrugged at his words and Aomine reached back into his pocket and pulled the box back out. He set it on the table in front Kagami, leaning back in his seat and pretending he didn't feel uncomfortable with this situation all over again.

Kagami stared at the box. Then he looked at Aomine. Then back at the box. He swallowed the chewed up burger in his mouth.

"I ain't interested, dude."

Oh, come _ON_.

"Wha- I'm not even asking you to-" Aomine gave up and kicked Kagami's chair back, knocking the redhead out of his seat. His temper got the best of him. Oh, well. Kagami deserved it.

That aside, why were his friends so stupid? He ignored Kagami after he started stomping around, yelling at Aomine in the process.

Aomine and Kise then left the restaraunt with an angry Kagami and his nine burgers in tow while he thought about making better friends. Literally _anyone_ other than these two would be great.

"Oh, I got a message from your sweetie, Aominecchi!!" Kise shrieked.

"Huh. So did I," Kagami replied.

  
Aomine tuned both of them out because he was already looking at his own phone. He found a message from you.

  
"Hey Daiki, could you meet me on the roof of your dorm? I want to talk to you."

  
You always typed so properly in your messages; you changed a bit since you were little and you were very polite in general. Along with how you typed and your overall nature, you were a lot like Tetsu.

......Okay, so he's going to pretend that thought never crossed his mind.

  
Moving on, he wasn't sure what you wanted to talk about... but you weren't the type to angrily push him off the roof. So that was a good thing, at least.

  
Typing with one hand, he still responded fairly quickly.

"sure, give me 15 minutes to get there"

Aomine slipped his phone back into his pocket and turned around.

"Hey, I have to meet with-" and he stopped. Where did Kise and Kagami go? He looked around briefly and came to the conclusion that they must have left. Hopefully he didn't see a news broadcast about their bodies being cut apart the next day. That'd kinda suck.

With that, he made his way back to his dorm.

He wasn't really sure what you wanted to meet with him about.

  
After what felt like forever, Aomine checked his phone when he arrived at the front doors of his dorm building. Almost right on the dot, he took 15 minutes to get there. He must have spent a long time with Kise because it was already starting to get dark.

With a tired sigh, he thought about taking a nap later as he made his way up to the roof.

 

When he finally reached the top floor and gripped the doorknob to the roof's entrance, he thought his ears were playing tricks on him. Was that giggling he just heard?

As he opened the door, he was welcomed to the sight of you standing there and a bouquet of roses in your hands.

"Hey, Daiki." A smile was on your face and Aomine was a bit confused. You handed him the bouquet and the expression you wore only seemed to brighten when he took the flowers from your hands. "I got these for you."

Why flowers??? He couldn't even think of a witty remark at the thought of him receiving flowers because he was tired and was still trying to process everything that was going on here.

"Uh... Thanks?" He didn't meant to sound rude. That's just how he was.

"You're welcome," you said in response. You didn't seem to mind his rudeness and he was thankful for that.

He wasn't sure why he did it but he had an urge to glance down at the roses in his hands. Almost instantly, he found a card hidden between the flowers.

Etched in your handwriting were the words "please say 'yes'." He blinked.

"What's this mea-" and as he looked up, he froze in place. You were kneeled before Aomine, holding a ring up in one hand.

  
"D... Daiki. I love everything about you. I... I'm not always very good with words or with expressing myself... but I hope you'll say 'yes'. Because you're the only one I've ever felt this way about," you said. You stared Aomine in the eye. Your voice was shaking somewhat.

  
Aomine would be lying if he said he wasn't getting a little moved by you doing this.

With a gruff "of course I will, you idiot" and an obvious flush to his face, you smiled so happily that all Aomine could do was hug you the moment you stood up straight off the floor.

Thankfully no one else saw how embarrassing everything was for him.

  
" _Awwwwwwwww_!! Our Aominecchi is getting married!"

And Aomine let you go and turned around, finding everyone - from Tetsu to Kagami to everyone else from the Generation of Miracles - standing right by the entrance, watching. And then Aomine felt his skin start to crawl at the thought of them watching this whole scene unfold.

  
You gripped his hand tightly and he somehow turned back toward you.

"I may not be your shadow like Tetsuya was... but I hope you're okay with that, Daiki."

He paused. Everything paused.

  
Why did everyone think he was into guys?!

 

  
(Still, he was happy, so it wasn't all that bad. Even though Kise started crying again.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You messaged Kagami and Kise and told them they had less than 10 minutes to get to the dorm. You said it was an emergency. You might have lied. The other GoM members were already in on your plans and that's why they were "busy." Kagami and Kise weren't in on the plans until the last minute... because they're Kagami and Kise.
> 
> Other Notes:  
> 1\. I feel like I should mention this (??) but I personally find myself shipping Aomine/Kise and even Kuroko/Kise.  
> 2\. Aomine is that friend in this story who, while you think it'd be rude to say too much, you honestly think he probably likes dudes. See below.  
> 3\. I was mostly poking fun at how cheesy KnB can be with Kuroko being Aomine or Kagami's "shadow" and they're his "light." If that isn't on the Ho-Yay trope page, I'd almost be surprised.  
> 4\. I really tried to make it as funny as possible while avoiding actual homophobia; I tried to make Aomine more of a buttmonkey than anything. I can't stand homophobia, so I ended up rewriting a lot of lines in this story because I thought, "If I heard someone say this, would I get upset?" and often times, I went, "Ah. Maybe so." and changed it. I'm not normally too sensitive but I grew up in the south; homophobia is, unfortunately, fairly common among older folk. That being said, Aomine's reactions to Kise and Kagami aren't meant to be because he's homophobic; they're meant to be because they're almost narcissistic comments coming from Kise and Kagami of all people. Two of his closest friends. Who know he's in a relationship. In other words, they - Kagami and Kise - are meant to look stupid.
> 
> I apologize for clogging up everyone's pages with these notes but I would personally prefer to avoid misunderstandings beforehand than to broil in it later because I didn't think of how others may have felt when reading this story.
> 
> Shameless plug-in:  
> By the way, has anyone watched the KNBA series? I find it absolutely hilarious and would wholeheartedly recommend it to every KnB fan that likes abridged parodies. There's only one episode out (~8 minutes long) but gosh, I just find it funny. It has uncensored language and it's kind of inappropriate for anyone that gets bothered by that though. Oh, and some of the Japanese name pronunciations sound funny. (But I still love it!)
> 
> [This is the video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bljq4q_JUhU) For any KnB fans who'd like to watch an abridged series! It felt a bit slow to me until Kagami entered the scene. Then the laughter tried to hit me. A lot. And Kise, oh my gosh. ("Well, Kurokoichibakaitsunojitsuchin." - Kise, a joke on his -chii names)


	8. A New Member to the Family [Makoto]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You weren't sure if you wanted kids. How about a pet instead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first my laptop died. Then I got one that works. I also eventually wrote this story out on my phone because I didn't have a working laptop at the time. Then I forgot all about the story. Hahaahaaaaaa * v *)//
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry for taking so long! I hope you guys have a nice Valentine's Day if you celebrate it. 
> 
> ...I giggled when I wrote this. Just so you know another part of my sense of humor. I once heard someone say that if you make something funny and don't find it humorous yourself, there won't be any love in it and it'll fall flat. I thought that was an interesting tidbit.

With birds singing and cats meowing, Makoto Tachibana was happily married. He really did love every day of his life with you.

He had talked with you beforehand about what the two of you wanted in a relationship. He loved the idea of becoming a father while you weren't sure if you even wanted to add a new member to the family.

Still, while he may have been slightly bothered by the idea of not having children, it wasn't the end of the world for him. Even with your differences, he knew he could make it work; after all, he married you because he loved you. It wasn't because he needed to create offspring for his family, or that he felt the uncontrollable need to have kids.

  
Still. Maybe the two of you could get a pet? There could still be a new member to the family and it didn't necessarily have to be human!

When Makoto asked you about what you thought, you had paused for just a moment. Almost immediately after, you nodded your head in agreement.

"A pet would be nice, Makoto," you told him with a smile.

  
He had hope in his heart. What would you two get? A puppy? A _kitten_?

  
...Then again, he didn't take into account your unique personality when he asked you about a getting a pet.

And, ah, it **definitely** showed.

  
Makoto's voice and body shook.

"Ah. Um. What... um, is _that_?" he questioned, his nerves prickling across his skin.

You blinked and then looked down toward your hands, which held a cage.

"Oh. Makoto, do you not like him?" you asked, concerned tone showing in your words.

"Well, uh... It's not _that_ exactly..." he said, trailing off.

It'd be one thing if you got a dog or a cat.

  
But instead you got a parrot that looked like it had been through battle.

"He was on sale. And he talks!" you chirped. You sounded so happy as you spoke. "I was told to not be alarmed if he said anything strange though."

Makoto gulped.

"S-Strange?"

You nodded.

"I'll let you get acquainted with him. Oh, and I decided to name him 'Burrito'," you said, placing the cage gently on a nearby table. Makoto moved and sat across from the parrot nervously as you stepped into the bedroom you two shared.

And Makoto stared at Burrito. He was as nervous as he could possibly be as he made eye contact with the evil-looking bird.

  
May as well try and talk to him, he decided.

"Good afternoon, Burrito," Makoto began, smiling. "I hope we get along."

Suddenly, Burrito let out a squawk.

Makoto flinched. More than he'd care to admit as a full-grown man.

"S-Sorry!" Makoto cried out.

"I'll cut out your kidneys and eat them **BAWWWWK**!"

  
Soon after, you stepped back into the room.

"Makoto? What's wrong? ...Are you crying, Makoto???"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very short. I'm happy to write something shorter and simpler though. The Kageyama story I wrote took a lot out of me, I remember! Though that one is still my personal favorite.
> 
> If you're in a relationship, make sure you talk with your partner about potential offspring and such. A lot of couples don't communicate and end up destroying a relationship because one person wanted children and assumed their partner did too (or vice-versa!). Always communicate over things! ; v ;
> 
> Hahhhh... What else? Not sure when I'll update this. I've been awfully busy!  
> I'm very much tempted to just do a second part to each of the character's stories that are already posted and call it DONE. So expect that as a possibility!
> 
> Regardless. I'll update whenever I can! huehuehue


	9. At the Joint of All Things [Makoto P2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For him, it had to be love at first sight. He just didn't know what he was getting into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how my laptop died, you guys? Well, all my files were saved because the internal drive got placed into another laptop (same type of laptop!); it was a bit like a copy/paste type of thing but with all my stuff.
> 
> Anyway, I found + looked at the file I used to make note of who to write about next and discovered notes for possible story ideas. I had something written down probably days before my original laptop poofed on me and suddenly got hit with inspiration! That, and I awkwardly re-read through this entire booklet to see about updating it. ;;
> 
>  
> 
> Regardless of anything else, I hope you enjoy this! Think of it as a prequel to Makoto's previous chapter.

Makoto's heart was dancing; it was carrying a rhythm he couldn't quite get used to feeling. At the same time, he couldn't get enough of it.

  
It'd be far from an exaggeration if he said he was floating on cloud nine. His heart was singing and he was more than willing to give out free tickets for its performance.

Why was he so ecstatic? There was a girl he met at an aquarium the other day while with his younger siblings. She was quiet and actually quite ordinary in appearance. But the moment Ran and Ren crashed into her from playing around just a little too much, she offered a smile that made him weak in the knees. Almost quite literally; he actually leaned against the tank glass out of pure astonishment (despite the sign next to the tank clearly saying not to touch the glass).

Of course, Makoto's joy was also mixed with a gigantic mix of nervousness. While jogging through a park near his home, he almost immediately caught a glimpse of the girl - of you - walking toward town.

And Makoto being Makoto, he really wanted to see you smile again. The idea of you smiling toward him kicked his heartbeat into overdrive and that only helped to put a spring in his step as he made his way in your direction.

  
This ... wasn't _that_ creepy, right??

  
Slowing his pace down, Makoto opted to walk while formulating his plan on talking to you.

"Nice weather we're having today, huh?"  
No, that's too boring.

"My name is Makoto; what's yours? I saw you the other day at the aquarium and remembered you."  
That'd be too sudden, for one. Plus, it would only level up his creepy factor, wouldn't it?

Crooking a finger against his chin, Makoto continued to ponder different scenarios.

Well, until he saw you walk into a small building, which looked like a corner shop. With a couple of blinks and a small pout, Makoto stopped in his tracks. What would he do now?

With his arms crossed and a couple taps from his foot, he let out a "hmm" as he stared at the building.

It wouldn't hurt to take a look, would it? Plus, he could just use it as an excuse to get something for his siblings or himself. With a quick and discreet sniff of his arm, he could only hope he didn't smell too much like sweat; as much as he wanted to shower, there were no guarantees he'd get this chance later. Nodding his head, Makoto hurried to the small store. A cute, tiny "OPEN" sign greeted him as he pulled the handle.

  
Smile on his face, Makoto definitely didn't expect to be greeted by a bunch of creepy dolls that lined the shelf. Which caused his smile to freeze in place as a shiver went up his spine.

"Welcome. How may I help you today?" a voice said, causing Makoto's attention to be redirected. There you were, typing an apron around yourself as you greeted him.

You smiled and his knees wobbled again. He was really weak to that, wasn't he? That was when he remembered his surroundings.

"Um," he began. "I'm looking for a, _um_... gift?"

Ball-jointed dolls were everywhere he looked, some bigger than others. And their faces? No. No. No. _NO_. He really didn't like scary stuff and this was making his blood run cold.

"Oh, who did you want to get the gift for? Girlfriend? Wife? Or perhaps a friend or family member?" you asked, offering a small smile with a tilt of your head.

Annnnd Makoto's chest was doing that fast "ba-dump"ing again.

"I don't have a girlfriend! Or a wife!" he shakily spouted. He was this close to adding "the position is open though," and that would've been the quickest way to destroy his dignity. You had a surprised look on your face and before he could do more damage, he immediately spoke. "I'm wanting to get something for my younger sister!"

  
With a blink and a pause, you smiled after and began speaking about... something or other. Truth be told, Makoto could only stare as he watched you speak about your recommendations. You picked up a large doll and his heart bounced as he watched you grab the price tag and frown slightly as you looked at it.

Oh, no. _You were frowning_.

 _"_. _._.can be a bit expensive though, so I'd personally recommend-"

" **I'll take five** ," Makoto hurriedly spoke as he whipped his wallet out of his pocket while pretending to clear his throat. "...Five, please. My sister l-likes dolls."

You hesitantly nodded your head and rang up his payment as he absently paid more money than he could afford.

  
On his way out the door, it suddenly occurred to Makoto just how much money he spent on creepy dolls. He looked down at the bags in his hands with a both a scared shiver and a sad sigh.

Walking along the pavement to his home, another thought occurred to him.

  
"I-I forgot to ask for her name!"

 

That's when he heard footsteps hurrying behind him.

"Excuse me...! S-Sir, you forgot your wallet!"

  
When Makoto turned around, rather than offer a word of thanks, he nearly dropped the dolls as he called out with a flustered voice:  
_"Could you tell me your name, please?!"_

Though you were out of breath and surprised, you laughed at his sudden question.

  
"I see you jogging around this area a lot and almost asked you the same question," you finally said, laughing some more.

 

Makoto almost confessed to you on the spot.  
  
And when you blink and an embarrassed look appears on your face, he then realizes he just might have.

 

~~why when and how~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've more-or-less set it in stone to end this booklet after giving every guy (who doesn't already have one) a second chapter. We've been going for almost two years now (sad laugh) and this is the only thing I've posted in that time span. WOOOHHH
> 
> Our remaining cast members now are Kuroko, Kise, Iwaizumi, Kageyama, and Kagami (though not necessarily in that order). Not all of them will be prequels but we'll see how it goes. ;;


	10. His Perspective [Kuroko P2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were the only thing in his eyes.
> 
> Of course, that could've been because he was light-headed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's jump into this with both feet and an anchor around our ankles.

He brought his hand up to his nose.

"Ah. That hurt."

It didn't take much for him to realize he was having a nosebleed.

...Well.

 _That was unfortunate_.

  
"I'm sorry for punching you, so please don't sue me for this!"

Glancing up from his hand, he made eye contact with a girl in his class. Of course he knew who she was. He was just... a bit light-headed.

From the way she was panicking, it didn't take long for him to realize she might have just punched him in the face.

Still.

Even as he passed out from (what was likely) blood loss, he almost had a smile on his face.

It was a bit nice having someone notice he was there for a change.

And as he blacked out, he thought to himself:

_She's lovely._

 

After being shaken awake, he sluggishly sat up in a bed. Taking in his surroundings, he realized he was in his room.

And that Kagami shook him awake.

"Hey, you all right?" Kagami asked, slight panic in his voice. "Thought you died there."

  
Letting out a small sigh, he looked toward Kagami, voicing the question on his mind.

"How did I get home?"

Kagami stretched his back like a cat and shrugged his shoulders.

"Some girl in your class carried you, apparently. Don't know how though. You live pretty far from school." Then he remembered, tuning out the rest of what Kagami was saying. He could feel his face heating up as he gently touched his nose. "Hey, uh, dude... You probably shouldn't- Hey, wait, is your face red??"

All he could do was nod. Now that he wasn't light-headed, he quietly voiced her name - **your** name - and smiled.

"Oh, yeah, I think that's the name of the girl who brought you home! Do you know her?"

His blue eyes twinkled as he nodded.

"Yes, I do."

"Well, that's cool, I guess."

"I want to marry her someday."

" _What_."

* * *

You sat across from him and he fidgeted slightly. Very slightly. Almost-unnoticeable-slightly.

It was his way of saying he was a bit uncomfortable as you just... stared at him.

"You know..." you started, drawing in his attention.

"Yes?" he asked, a bit curious.

You just slid down in your seat, looking a bit exhausted.

"Maybe you should've just sued me."

He looked down and opened his mouth, then paused.

"...I love you."

You sighed, red creeping up on your cheeks.

"I love you too, Tetsuya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this thing where not one time did I refer to "Kuroko" or "Tetsuya" in the narration. I wanted to try and just have the reader know from his personality. ;; That, and the chapter title and the last sentence. *sobs* i try
> 
>  
> 
> ➛ Also, as a head's up, I just want to remind everyone that I do not repost these stories elsewhere; Ao3 is the only site I share my writing on (which I have written on my profile). I don't actively search to see if my stories have been reposted but I just wanted to share this, as I've come across authors I follow having their writings stolen.


	11. Honeymoon [Kise P2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both you and your fiance were something, all right. (Why did you have to keep bothering your tiny, blue friend though...?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to try and get a chapter up per month until this booklet is done!
> 
> Keyword: try

You pinched at your sides and scowled at your reflection in the mirror as you gauged yourself in your wedding gown. With an immediate tilt of the head you focused your eyes on the reflection of your friend who sat there, quietly judging your actions.

Well, you thought he was judging you anyway.

"Kuro-bot, I don't have good feelings about this dress. It makes my side fat stick out," you began, not trying too hard to hide your whines.

With a bit of a pause before responding, your buddy-bear looked your way.

"I believe you've said that about every dress you've tried on so far. Also, please don't call me that."

Still, you pouted, staring at the mirror with disdain clearly written across your features.

"But... my side fat... I've even been exercising so these dresses would fit better."

You could've sworn you heard a sigh come from your blue-haired friend.

"You look fine. I'm sure your fiance will be more than happy with how you look," he answered, trying to cheer you up a bit.

It somehow worked, as you were smiling again as you stared at your reflection with two thumbs up (no matter how weird or outdated your pose was).

"You're right! Thanks, Kuro-bike! You're the best Maid of Honor I could ask for!"

"...Excuse me?"

* * *

Fast forward through what felt like eternity and you found yourself walking down the aisle of a colorful garden wedding.

There Ryōta stood, his face beaming at the sight of you. This was it. The two of you started the journey of your new life together.

  
Until you remembered.

 

As the two of you stood in your hotel room after the reception.

 

 

 

  
_You forgot to shave your legs_.

 

Your honeymoon was seriously the last thing you thought about as you helped Ryōta plan the wedding. The only thing on your mind was the start of your new life together, not bumping uglies. How were you supposed to remember to cut down the forests when you were too distracted with everything else going on??

The worst part was the loving look he gave you as he gently took your hand and led you to the bed.

NO.

You stopped walking, causing him to tug your arm in confusion.

"...Is something wrong?" he asked.

"......Ryōta. I can't," you began. " _I just can't_."

  
And then he looked crestfallen.

"D-Do you hate me now?"

You blanked for a couple of seconds.

"What?! No, of course not!"

Then he looked confused again.

"So what's wrong?" he asked once more.

You sighed.

You really, _really_ sighed.

"You're not going to laugh when I tell you, right?" You made sure to look him dead in the eye. "Right?"

Still, he could be kinda stupid sometimes, so he just nodded with an extremely serious look on his face.

"...I forgot to shave my legs."

He blinked and, because he's your precious, kinda stupid husband now, broke into a happy smile.

"Oh, is that all? Don't worry! I'll still love you even though you're my hairy blueberry."

Did he just.

"H-Hairy blueberry?"

He nodded, eyes shut, happy smile. _Why_.

"R-Ryōta! That's like me calling you a skinless lemon!"

And now he was pouting.

"A skinless lemon? Lemons are sour though!"

" _That's_ what bothered you??"

"Well, you could've picked a sweeter fruit! Something like a banana. I'm a peeled banana. I'm a model and bananas are curvy like models."

"What ... does that even mean?"

With a suave look on his face as his slid his right hand over his bangs, he pulled what you could only describe as a pretentious pose men do over social media.

"It means I've got the skills to pay the bills," he said.

 

  
You paused. He stayed in that pose.

"I think I'm gonna sleep in the bathtub tonight. Good night, my husband."

"...Wait! I'm sorry, I won't do that again!"

You slowly turned and stared at him.

"Promise?"

"I promise!"

You stayed quiet. _Too quiet_.

"...Want me to call and invite Kurokocchi up here to play video games or watch an overpriced hotel movie?"

You simply nodded.

"...Are we not going to do the deed?"

You shook your head.

"...Okay." He looked a bit sad. _Still_. You did love him and him being sad made you sad.

"Maybe tomorrow after I become a hairless blueberry," you stated.

He clapped his hands together excitedly as he hurriedly grabbed his cell phone.

 

  
You could tell your blue-haired friend looked very unsurprised when you opened the door for him. He almost seemed like he was expecting one of you two to call him; after all, his apartment was just down the road from this hotel.

He had more answers than questions when he noticed you were still in a dress and your husband still in an crinkle-free tuxedo.

He held up a plastic bag.

"I brought vanilla ice cream."

You looked excited and he glanced past your shoulder to his blonde friend who was giving a thumbs up.

...He needed new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "honeymoon" idea was actually something in my notes from back when I was writing ideas down for this booklet. It was actually going to be Kise's original chapter (but you know, kinda different) until I thought of that spider idea. So there's your fun fact for the day.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, this chapter was full of stupid stuff I find funny again. Gosh. My sense of humor is so awkward.  
> Join me in my hot tub. We can all twitch from being uncomfortable with one another while avoiding eye contact.


End file.
